400 in ’15: #400: That’s a wrap!

I finally finished this stupid ass personal goal/project/waste of time.

In case it wasn’t 100% obvious, I don’t think of this as any sort of achievement. In fact, I can’t count the number of times throughout the year I completely regretted even trying it. There were times I watched a movie because I felt like I HAD to, and it was partly funny and amusing to me, but also started to really get annoying.

There were also countless times I thought I’d never make it. In the middle especially. When you’re too far in to remember the start, but also too far from the end to see the conclusion. I actually did some math at a few points and realized I had to start watching multiple films a day if I wanted to get ahead of schedule.

It was madness. MADNESS.

Look, I LOVE movies. Almost more than any other form of entertainment. That’s why I did it. Also because I’m a masochist but that’s another story.

Pulling this off makes me wonder how many movies I watch in a normal year. I know it’s nowhere near 400 for certain, but part of me almost wants to keep tracking it (I won’t, though).

I never said or posted anything, but all the data was kept in this poorly laid out spreadsheet so you can look at it if you are a weirdo.

Now I can give you some random stats:

Approximate time spent watching these 400 movies (based on IMDb runtimes): 42,762 MINUTES or 712.7 HOURS or 29.7 DAYS

Films I watched for the first time: 285

Oldest film I watched: Häxan (1922)

Average release year: 2002

Chances I’ll ever do this again: 0

Also, in case you were curious, my favorite movie of 2015 was Mad Max: Fury Road for being not only the best new movie I saw, but legitimately one of my favorite films EVER and the best action movie to grace our presence in probably forever. Give George Miller an Oscar or go fuck yourselves, academy.

I’ll probably not watch a movie for a few days now. Might actually use the time to catch up on some TV shows now that I don’t feel pressured to divide my time up so much.

Ahhh, who am I kidding, I’m going to go re-watch Fury Road to celebrate!

See ya!

400 in ’15: #400: The Other Woman

I’ve taken on the challenge of trying to watch 400 films in 2015. I will update this blog after each one and hopefully write a small blurb (NOT necessarily a review) about it. Come along for the journey, won’t you!?

Number: 400
Film: The Other Woman
Released: 2014
Director: Nick Cassavetes
Viewed previously?: No

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It’s OVER! wooo!

for my final movie, I thought about watching something real awesome or that meant a lot to me, but then I decided that’s boring and INSTEAD chose to watch a movie that I wouldn’t ever even bother with if I wasn’t actively trying to watch 400 fucking movies in a year.

That movie is “The Other Woman” starring Cameron Diaz, Leslie Mann and Kate Upton as women who have been cheated on by Jamie from Game of Thrones and the story about how they try and get revenge on him.

It’s also really, really bad and borderline insufferable. The most cliche ridden shoe horned movie I’ve watched in a long ass time.

The best part was watching Kate Upton be Kate Upton.

The worst part was everything else including really groan inducing little musical montages inserted randomly (yes, really) and just the general air of “HEY THIS IS SOOOO FUNNY” that everyone involved seemed to really believe.

Every little joke and bit falls so flat it’s almost embarrassing.

Fuck, there’s a goddamn “I PUT EX-LAX IN HIS DRINK NOW HE’S SHITTING HIS PANTS! AHAHAHAHAH” scene that goes on way too long and isn’t funny.

This was terrible and I am officially not writing anymore about it.

Stay tuned for a wrap up post…sometime!

400 in ’15: #399: The Godfather: Part III

I’ve taken on the challenge of trying to watch 400 films in 2015. I will update this blog after each one and hopefully write a small blurb (NOT necessarily a review) about it. Come along for the journey, won’t you!?

Number: 399
Film: The Godfather: Part III
Released: 1990
Director: Francis Ford Coppola
Viewed previously?: No

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So, I decided I had to finish off the trilogy and popped this one in.

It’s the shortest of the bunch (but still clocks in at just under 3 fucking hours) but somehow FEELS like the longest. It drags like a mother fucker and that’s not a good sign.

It also feels like a mess of a film.

I think maybe because the huge time gap from the previous film to this one, something, perhaps some kind of “magic” was completely lost because this isn’t a great movie.

There’s something about the pope and the Vatican and two cousins fucking each other and an opera singer and Michael Corleone being a withered old fuck with diabetes and it’s all just so boring that it felt like a slog to get through.

Special mention has to go to Sofia Coppola, who turns in a TERRIBLE performance as Mary, the daughter. I didn’t know much about this one going in, except that her performance has been criticized by just about everyone in the world, and boy, they aren’t wrong. It’s as if she’s reading from cue cards 90% of the time and then just badly winging it the other 10% Truly bad.

Al Pacino is also in full “old man Pacino” mode by this point and while it’s kind of entertaining it also doesn’t really fit what the character is or was.

Big ol’ MEH to this one.

400 in ’15: #398: Fantastic Mr. Fox

I’ve taken on the challenge of trying to watch 400 films in 2015. I will update this blog after each one and hopefully write a small blurb (NOT necessarily a review) about it. Come along for the journey, won’t you!?

Number: 398
Film: Fantastic Mr. Fox
Released: 2009
Director: Wes Anderson
Viewed previously?: No

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You know what this is?

A Wes Anderson movie I hadn’t seen. I don’t know how. I don’t know why.

Every Christmas I ask for one or two Criterion films (cause those fuckers are expensive!) and this was one of them.

So I’ve finally watched it.

And it was absolutely fantastic.

It is of course, a film adaptation of the Roald Dahl children’s book.

Is it possible that’s why I never bothered to watch this film? I honestly don’t think it is. Wes Anderson is on my short list of “never miss” directors and so I’m really not sure why it took so long for me to watch this.

I LOVE the stop motion and art direction in this. Everything is just so fucking gorgeous looking.

That Wes Anderson humor not only shines through, it’s actually here as much as any of his other films if you ask me. You know how I know? I visited IMDB and saw a thousand “I don’t get it” posts. That’s how I know.

To me, it was hilarious. I laughed out loud several times, and I even got emotional more than once. Like I do with every Wes Anderson movie, so again. It’s all here.

The cast is also fantastic. Clooney and Jason Schwartzman especially.

What a wonderful, wonderful film.

400 in ’15: #397: Scrooged

I’ve taken on the challenge of trying to watch 400 films in 2015. I will update this blog after each one and hopefully write a small blurb (NOT necessarily a review) about it. Come along for the journey, won’t you!?

Number: 397
Film: Scrooged
Released: 1988
Director: Richard Donner
Viewed previously?: No

Scrooged_film_poster

Well, it just so happens to be Christmas day, and even though I’ve not been feeling at all Christmassy this year, I decided to watch this one anyway.

It stars Bill Murray as an asshole TV executive in what is basically a modernization of the Dickens classic “Scrooge” in which he’s visited by the three ghosts and undergoes a drastic change of character.

I remember seeing bits of this as a kid. The ghost of Christmas past in the cab really brought back some memories, bu that’s really all I remembered, so it was really cool to see.

I thought it was really good, mostly, obviously, because Bill Murray is one of my favorite human beings.

I laughed at a few parts and enjoyed how dark it is at some points as well.

not a huge fan of Christmas films, but I could make watching this one a bit of a tradition.

Good shit.

400 in ’15: #396: Häxan

I’ve taken on the challenge of trying to watch 400 films in 2015. I will update this blog after each one and hopefully write a small blurb (NOT necessarily a review) about it. Come along for the journey, won’t you!?

Number: 396
Film: Häxan
Released: 1922
Director: Benjamin Christensen
Viewed previously?: No

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Häxan is a Swedish/Danish silent film released in 1922.

It is presented mainly as a documentary focused on studying superstition, mental illness and mass hysteria that lead to the witch-hunts in the 15th century.

It’s incredibly odd but also incredibly good.

I say it’s mainly a documentary, but there are segments that are acted out in normal drama/horror fashion that are pretty damn creepy. I can’t imagine seeing stuff like this in 1922. There’s witches doing terrible things, dead babies, torture, THE DEVIL (who looks seriously creepy) and a number of other satanic looking monsters. Mostly likely some very pioneering stuff.

It shows us witch rituals and how the devil supposedly corrupted and controlled them and other people to do heinous things and it’s all presented in this dreamlike crazy state that I can’t quite explain.

For me, it was hard going at first. I don’t think I was in the silent movie type mood. It makes things move a lot slower without voiceover, BUT as the film went on I totally got into it and ended up really enjoying this one.

I watched the Criterion collection release and was pleasantly surprised by the quality.

What a delightfully strange one.

400 in ’15: #395: The Godfather: Part II

I’ve taken on the challenge of trying to watch 400 films in 2015. I will update this blog after each one and hopefully write a small blurb (NOT necessarily a review) about it. Come along for the journey, won’t you!?

Number: 395
Film: The Godfather: Part II
Released: 1974
Director: Francis Ford Coppola
Viewed previously?: No

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Part II of the Godfather trilogy focuses on Michael expanding his crime syndicate through several different states and even Cuba, doing business with some shady people while dealing with tons of people close to him he can’t trust.

It also jumps around to telling the story of a young Vito Corleone (De Niro) before he was the Godfather in the first film and while I didn’t think this little sub-story was all that neccesary, it actually grew on me the more the film went on. Mostly because of De Niro.

It’s no wonder I took a few weeks to watch the second part because this is a long ass movie. I feel there certainly are shots and scenes that go on too long, but for the most part it’s actually not too bad, the length comes from the fact that it’s such a dense film.

I enjoyed it greatly and when you sit back and think about it, it’s probably the best, or one of the best sequels ever made.

I’m going to try and watch the third before the year is over…but can’t make any promises.

400 in ’15: #394: After Earth

I’ve taken on the challenge of trying to watch 400 films in 2015. I will update this blog after each one and hopefully write a small blurb (NOT necessarily a review) about it. Come along for the journey, won’t you!?

Number: 394
Film: After Earth
Released: 2013
Director: M. Night Shyamalan
Viewed previously?: No

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Ah, yes, M. Night Shyamalan, my old friend.

Such a fall from grace could probably never have been predicted.

I was totally a fan of his for a while. I LOVE Unbreakable and really like Signs (yeah, I said it) and even The Village but everything after those films has been mixed to poorly received and it’s so, so weird.

I know that since this movie came out he’s directed “The Visit” which is supposedly really good, but I haven’t seen it because I’ve lost so much faith I refuse to pay money to view it. Fooled me too many times, my friend.

Anyway, back to After Earth.

It’s not a good movie.

I recently listened to the guys on “How did this get made?” talk about this film and even though they mentioned it’s pretty much just BAD and not in a good way, I’ve had it sitting on the PVR for months and decided to watch it.

The general story is Will Smith and his son (also his real life son) crash land on a planet during a mission (or something) in which they were transporting some sort of alien that kills humans by detecting their fear. Of course, Will Smith breaks his legs horribly in the crash and Jr. has to go out on his own in the fierce wilderness to find the other half of the space ship so he can activate the rescue beacon or some shit.

Oh yeah, and that planet is EARTH, which humanity evacuated years before…or something. It’s stupid.

It’s all about FEAR and conquering your fear and growing as a person and that kind of shit.

Which doesn’t sound bad, right? even the basic story and plot is decent.

But the movie just isn’t.

I was immediately put off by the bizarre accents both characters put on. It’s like a southern accent getting raped by a British accent and it’s so completely unnecessary it took me out of the movie several times. That, and the performances in general are pretty awful. Probably because the writing is pretty much shit. There are plenty of goofy lines delivered here in that silly accent that just made me go “what?”

so much so that part of me couldn’t believe it was a real film.

Will Smith especially is capable of so much more. He plays a serious, rigid future military dude who’s hard on his son and pretty much has ZERO emotion because that’s his thing. He’s able to fight previously mentioned aliens because he can ignore fear, which is called “ghosting” (feel free to groan here) but of course it translates into his personal life because he’s a shitting, unfeeling father and it’s kind of a problem because Will Smith is kind of naturally charming and charismatic as fuck and he doesn’t play well in a role like this at all.

It’s also filled with real weird editing and tons of plotholes/stupid shit, but I’m not going to bother tearing it down because it isn’t worth it.

I’ll be honest and say it wasn’t nearly as bad as I was expecting, but that doesn’t make it good. I would not recommend this movie at all.

And just like that, I’ve written far more about this film than it deserves.

Off to bed I go.

400 in ’15: #393: Star Wars: The Force Awakens

I’ve taken on the challenge of trying to watch 400 films in 2015. I will update this blog after each one and hopefully write a small blurb (NOT necessarily a review) about it. Come along for the journey, won’t you!?

Number: 393
Film: Star Wars: The Force Awakens
Released: 2015
Director: J.J. Abrams
Viewed previously?: No

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Yup.

It’s a new Star Wars movie.

I’m not a huge fan of this series, so I won’t bore you with a long winded analysis of this movie.

I’ll just say that it’s good. Compare it to the more recent prequels and it’s a far, far more entertaining film.

I liked the new characters. Rey especially.

I feel like the dependence (for lack of a better word) on Han Solo and other “classic” characters was partly neat but also a bit predictable and kind of lame. I mean, the whole “pandering to fans” thing is very real, but I guess if you are a super fan that’s more meaningful to you. I don’t know. I just felt the new characters were vastly more interesting and could have carried the film entirely, but I suppose that’s what the sequels will be for, so it’s all good in the end.

Carrie Fisher was pretty terrible, though.

New bad dude was pretty cool but made significantly less cool when he takes of his badass helmet. Why do movies insist on having people do this all the time?

Anyway, whatever.

This was a good movie and I was entertained and am not feeling burned like how I was after seeing Episode I.

400 in ’15: #392: Mission: Impossible – Ghost Protocol

I’ve taken on the challenge of trying to watch 400 films in 2015. I will update this blog after each one and hopefully write a small blurb (NOT necessarily a review) about it. Come along for the journey, won’t you!?

Number: 392
Film: Mission: Impossible – Ghost Protocol
Released: 2011
Director: Brad Bird
Viewed previously?: Yes

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Ethan Hunt is tasked with stopping another MAD MAN. This time, the MAD MAN has blown up the Kremlin after stealing nuclear launch codes.

The IMF is blamed for the Kremlin disaster and is shutdown. That don’t stop THE BADDEST MOTHERFUCKER Tom Cruise from assembling his team and saving the world on their own, though!

really, it’s another great one that sees everything from the past movie just made even bigger and cooler.

There’s so much goodness here, from the lowkey Kremlin break in to FUCKIN’ TOM CRUISE in Dubai scaling the tallest building in the world (yes, he actually did it) in what is one of the most nerve wracking things ever, if you have an even mild fear of heights like I do.

It’s fantastic.

Having now seen Rogue Nation and this again, the two are REALLY close, but I might give the edge to Rogue Nation, just slightly.

I certainly hope we get another one.